CAPTAIN MACHO PANTS
Defender of the Backyard. Champion of Macho Pants.
Who Is Captain Macho Pants?
Captain Macho Pants is a backyard-level superhero forged in responsibility, humor, and an unshakable waistband. He stands ready when grills flare up, coolers need lifting, or calm must be restored.
Unbreakable Waistband
Elastic engineered to withstand time, gravity, and repeated trips to the fridge.
Dad-Strength Plus
Strength activates instantly when someone says, “I’ve got it.”
Strategic Napping
Power regeneration through couches, recliners, and halftime breaks.